Double Entendre

I just signed up and learned what double endimnity means. great vid M. (smile)

dangit you #1!!

A female news anchor who… the day after it was supposed to have snowed and hadn’t…
turned to the weatherman and asked…
“So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?”

(The weatherman and half the crew were so helpless with laughter they had to leave the set.)

A female news anchor who… the day after it was supposed to have snowed and hadn’t…
turned to the weatherman and asked…
“So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?”

(The weatherman and half the crew were so helpless with laughter they had to leave the set.)

Marina, Will you have breakfast with with me? Why? Because I want to butter your muffin…and your favorite jam or jelly is? ;-)

That is so weird! The second I started watching this lesson a song popped into my head, this one>> I’ll save you all my kisses – Dead or Alive

Then I thought what a great theme song for hotforwords! I can totally see some kind of show where Marinas the star and this song is playing for the entro and bumpers.

“You might hear I trade my love for candy
Don’t believe that stuff, its a misunderstanding
What ever I’ve got, it doesn’t go cheaply
Not many have got what it might take to keep me.
I’ll save you all my kisses”

Great workout song too. :-)
Don’t know why I shared that, but there it is.

Two things for me : (yeah…) first, you can scare me, and second i feel normal again???
Tsjust very weird i don’t know..
Your tweets are terrific too… ur right i knew i will have to be double and now that i live it, i think i GOT to get back on a simple one. (i know u understand really good, im so pleased!)

it’s entendre not entendwe….
i think i love you… **
Nico

Well I liked it. (smike) lol

Our love is that gigantic that we will go on and on till the end exactly how we are today
We love you all
Me

That’s cool, genevaeally beautifull at night.. i can wait ma now, when you want WHERE you want too, i feel it now!
Ur loveo

ok lol i will wait ok even the nex t 5 next………. well the nexts…..
but honnestly, if they are (i don’t doubt that much) as nice as this one, i think i will () really enjoy em….
pfffffffffffffff fff
;n)

where detention is fun ahahahahahahahhaahahahahahaah

you don’t have any vid more to wait???? ahahahhahahahh
(ok i stop, byebye)

ok i get it : if it was like in our dreams ah??
i doubt lol
but i can leave y this doubt, even im very very confuse right now lol

i guess im no professional actor for sure ahahah ahah
(you were vety hard ma this time ahahah!!)

waw what a flight!!!!

dude SHUT UP

im ok to apply to you (fuck it!) ahah ..*

Love the featherweight earrings!! ;)

(Be careful flying with your ears, Dumbo it up there somewhere.)

sorry papa, i quit now, have a good day!!

I’m trying to keep abreast of Marina’s double entendres. Or should that be a-breasts? Anyway Marina, Abbot and Costello were a great pair and so are you. ;)

“Hot Dam”; your earrings makes for the beaks to duck–

My left wing is right behind…

…you wanna double up on sum down?… I bought a piece to shoot down the bills….“quack, quack” says the doctor cooking her books …I’m stunned by the run to bye guns…

Dear Marina,
Thank you for another wonderful and amusing video. Your version of Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine was unexpectedly funny! My favorite double entendre is the question, “If your right leg represents Christmas and your left leg is New Year’s, may I visit you between the holidays?” (If you say “yes”, I think we’ll both have a great time!)
You’re so beautiful, it really doesn’t matter whether you keep your hair short or long.
Maybe the ideal length for you is shoulder length. This way, when you shake your head, you can brush the dust off your shoulders at the same time!
In a few days, you will exceed 400 million views on YouTube, so congratulations in advance! (I hope I’m the first to congratulate you.) Your combination of intelligence, great video work, clever ideas and amazing beauty have made you the success you deserve to be. I love your videos.
SeesixCM6

SeesixCM6

Dear Marina,
Thank you for another wonderful and amusing video. Your version of Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine was unexpectedly funny! My favorite double entendre is the question, “If your right leg represents Christmas and your left leg is New Year’s, may I visit you between the holidays?” (If you say “yes”, I think we’ll both have a great time!)
You’re so beautiful, it really doesn’t matter whether you keep your hair short or long.
Maybe the ideal length for you is shoulder length. This way, when you shake your head, you can brush the dust off your shoulders at the same time!
In a few days, you will exceed 400 million views on YouTube, so congratulations in advance! (I hope I’m the first to congratulate you.) Your combination of intelligence, great video work, clever ideas and amazing beauty have made you the success you deserve to be. I love your videos.
SeesixCM6

SeesixCM6

Double Presents… Ohh, How My Dreams have come true… Two of you… (Double Presence); Twins… So, Who’s On First For Tonight! Aida Knowe is your host for Jan. 2nd… Mary What… Me? on New Year’s Day? Maybe Tomorrow… Don’t ask me… Just Pitch me a Good Line Anytime… Hopefully I’ll Catch it Today; if not, Naturally, Tomorrow… May You Have A Wonderful Happy New Year!

A big collection of ambiguous statements (not only double entendres, but still funny). Some of captions observed in various places:

In a restroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

In a laundry: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a safari park: ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

In a hotel in Moscow: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Baltimore restaurant: All food must pass through the cashier before entering the dining room.

In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

On a radiator repair garage: Best place to take a leak.

In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

In a parking garage: Tenants not paid by the 15th of the month will be terminated.

An advertisement of a restaurant: We don’t just serve hamburgers, we serve people.

This isn’t a double entendre. I can see here no single entendre.

my dearest teacher as usual i loved the new 2X video

Marina my love I wish you a happy and healthy New Year

pass it on to Gorby only good thing for the future! B.B.

Hot For Words — 222 — Triple Entendre?

To Hot For Words — (To Trusty)
Too hot for words — (Trusty’s sex appeal)
Two Hot For Words — (Two Trusty’s)   :-)

Marina,

After several years, I finally think you made a boo-boo. “Petros” in greek doesn’t mean “rock” it means pebble. Secondly, they weren’t speaking Greek – they were speaking Hebrew. It seems like a word play in Greek – but the conversation took place in Hebrew. He, Yahushua (a.k.a. “Jesus”) wasn’t calling Peter (Kepha) a rock or a pebble at all. He was showing the fulfillment of Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 56:6-7 where all who keep Shabbat and all who guard His Name will enter the rebuilt House of Prayer for all nations.

Flying high today and giving us some double talk, how [quaint] of you.

Wow… there is a Russian Maxim…
http://www.tgdaily.com/games-and-entertainment-features/52471-this-is-what-happens-when-you-betray-a-hot-russian-spy
and it has trusty’s friend, double agent Anna.

Wasn’t Peter called Kephas by Jesus? This name of Peter was used several times in the New Testament.

The problem was it could not be translated into Greek as Petra (which is more proper for a rock), because the word has a feminine gender – so it was translated as Petros (so that the gender be masculine).

But no matter if in Arameic or Greek – that wasn’t perceived as a double entendre when it happened – just a new name was coined this way. This started sounding as a double entendre later, when the name Peter was popular.

She changed her image through the years, but her eyes are her only invariant.

http://www.hotforwords.com/2010/11/26/moving-comments-to-disqus/#comment-104219442

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In my opinion Marina is wearing too much makeup in this video, so much that her cheek bones are almost invisible. She has proven in many her twitpic photos she looks good with a delicate makeup, so I see no need to put such a mask on the face:)

PS. Marina is constantly teasing people with her twitpic photos  and then she’s playing innocent. Or maybe the other way round – she is so innocent but playing such a femme fatale. That’s haunting as one commenter said.

Hello everyone How are you all doing this holiday season? What’s up with the class? I see Marina has made a new video, with a new lesson, which means a new more, which means more learning. Ok I’m done just glad to see my favorite teacher back in action. You have done an awesome job Marina on Double Entendre, You watched Black Swan, what is that about, is it any good? I ask because I care, no other reason. Puns, I never been very good with them. But I do like them, and I find them on the internet here, everywhere a pun pun LOL! It’s good seeing your sister and your funny exchanges very funny. Keep up the cool job, and have you seen the movie Barbwire LOL , just kiding but it was very temping for men, yes if you haven’t seen it, at least what i seen of it, it playes more toward the men and younger guys, did you hear of Pamela Lee Anderson, if so then I need go no farther, it would in my view only excite a strait guy, but i someone is gay then that’s there business. What kind of movies do you like Marina? I was just joking around about the Barbwire Movie, I don’t even know the whole movie, may it does change its theme from what I seen, but I don’t know for sure, hey did anyone out there see Barbwire? It was just brought to my attention, to a small part of the film! Oh well on with the show!

5 Everyday Survival Items
2010 Top Space Stories
15 Most Popular Jokes Of 2010
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Is This Brave Or Not?
Mysterious Lightning
Mysterious Manpupuner Rock Formations
Underwater Ice Formations
Pink Lake At Retba Senegal
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Most Creative Buildings Of The World Part 2
Arnold Schwarzenegger In His Younger Years

Some Jokes

A man was in the kitchen making a lot of noise! His wife comes in and asks why he was making so much noise? The man replies: “I am killing flies.” A short time later his wife came back and he was still making lots of noise!

She asks: “Well, Mr. Big Shot, how many flies have you killed?” He says: “I have killed seven flies! 4 males and 3 females.” ” She says: “Right.how can you tell the sex of the flies?” He says: “Very easy: the 4 flies in my right hand are males. When I killed them, they were all on the beer cans!” Then she asks: “If you are smart, how can you tell the sex of the females?” He says: “The three in my left hand, they were all on the phone!!!”

———————————————–

There was this newly wed couple that was just married and the bride was home naked waiting for her husband to get home. Well, the mother-in law decided to stop by and seen the young bride naked and asked what she was doing. And she said: “This is my love dress.” The young girl told her that it works, so on the way home the mother-in-law thought about the love dress and when she got home she got totally naked and waited behind the door and saw his wife naked and asked why she was naked. And she said: “This is my love dress.” He said: “Well, it needs some ironing.”

—————————

First Anniversary

The other day while driving home, after being delayed at my office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror.

The police officer pulled me over for speeding. Hoping for a little leniency I explained to him that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first Anniversary.

But rather than letting me off with just a warning, he went ahead and wrote out the ticket, handed it to me, and said, “Congratulations! The first year is paper, right?”

Map

Before heading out on a family hike, we stood at the trailhead reviewing a map pinned to a bulletin board. A red arrow on the map that said “You are here” caught my six year old’s attention. Pointing to it he asked. “How do they know that?”

Shopping

My husband had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with me. But when he found himself stuck in a lingerie shop while I tried on one garment after another, he regretted his decision. Impatient and bored he asked for a salesclerk, “Is there anything in the store for men?”

“Sir,” She said, “everything in this store is for men.”

Magic Trick

A cruise ship hired a magician to entertain the passengers. Since the passengers changed every four or five days, the magician was able to perform the same tricks over and over.

Unfortunately, the Captain of the ship had a parrot who sat around and watched the magician perform his tricks, over and over. Eventually, the parrot learned how the tricks were done and would interrupt the act.

“It’s in his sleeve” the parrot would say. “He switched balls.”
“It’s in his pocket.” Etc. Etc.

Naturally. the magician was quite disturbed by the parrot but could do nothing about it, since it belonged to the Captain.

Unfortunately, the cruise ship had the misfortune of hitting an iceberg and sank to the bottom of the sea in a matter of minutes. As fate would have it, the magician and the parrot managed to grab hold of the same floating furniture.

For 3 days, neither said anything. The magician stared at the parrot and the parrot stared back. Finally, on the 4th day, the parrot cracked and said:
“OK,I give up, where on Earth did you put the ship?”

Old Sayings…Different Twist

See if you can translate the following into the familiar sayings we’ve all heard? See answers below.

1. Scintillate, Scintillate, asteroid exiguous.

2. Members of an avian species of indentical plumage congregate.

3. Surveillance should precede salutations.

4. Pulchritude poses possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent then the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

9. Eschew the implement of correction of vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled saucepan does not does reach 212 F’

11. All the articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

12. Where there are visible vapors in ignited carbonaceous.

Answers:

1. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

2. Birds of a feather, flock together.

3. Think before you speak.

4. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

5. Don’t cry over spilled milk.

6. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

7. The pen is mightier than the sword.

8. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

9. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

10. A watched pot doesn’t boil.

11. All that glitters is not gold.

12. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Funny Epitaphs

Tombstones are not generally thought of as fonts of light entertainment. But as The New York Times showed, some epitaphs are funnier than other.

–He was a simple man who died of complications.

–He came into the world without my consent and left in the same manner

–Stranger, tread this ground with gravity Dentist Brown is filing his cavity

Changing Times

A big mouth college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his world. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said.

“Today we have television, jet planes, space travel. nuclear energy, computers, the internet…”

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the senior said,

“You’re right sonny. We didn’t have those things when we were young…so we invented them!”

Selling Vacuum Cleaners

A little old woman answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning, ” said the young man.

“If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

“Go away!” said the old woman. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty!” he said.

“Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.”

In addition, with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto the hallway carpet.

“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old woman stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a darned good appetite, because they cut of my electricity this morning.”

Coffee

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and about as thick.

“How old is the coffee you have here?” I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve only been working here two weeks.”

Army Of The Lord

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as alaways the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The preacher said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”

My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Preacher.”

The preacher questioned, “How come I don’t see you except for Christmas and Easter?”

He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”

Two Dogs

Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, “Wait here a minute. I’ll be right back.” He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street.

The other dog says, “What was that about?”

The first dog says. “I was just checking my messages.”

Tidbits

“I get those maternal feelings sometimes, like when I’m lying on the couch and can’t reach the remote, I think, ‘Boy, a kid would be nice right now.” Kathleen Madigan

—-

“Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow who gave birth to a baby girl named Apple. Gwyneth says looking forward to having another daughter so she can have a “pear.” –Jay Leno

—

“My father refused to spend money on me as a kid. One time I broke my arm playing football and my father tried to get a free X-ray by taking me down to the airport and making me lie down with the luggage.” –Glen Super

Skeleton In The Closet

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.

When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, ” This could be Jimmy Hoffa or someone really important.”

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn’t stand it any more; they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, “We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.”

“Well, who was it?”

“The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and Seek Champion.”

Birthday Gift

A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing “Happy Birthday.”

Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.Later, at dinner, he gave it to his wife and asked her to open it…

When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to “The Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used to Be!”

Hard Working?

A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing.

The owner walks up to the young man and says, “Son, how much do you make a day?”

The guy replies, ” 150 dollars.”

The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back.

A few minutes later the shipping clerk says to the boss, “Have you seen that UPS driver? I left him standing around here?”

Republican or Democrat?

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I’m.” The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, Your in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a (political party).”
“L’m, ” replied the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no ides what to do with your information.
and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a (political party).” “I’m, ” replied the balloonist. “how did you know?” “well, ” said the man, “you made a promise that you had no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met but, somehow, now it’s my fault.”

Animal Joke

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says, “You know… when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts. I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds… I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived….blah blah blah…”

In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, “Oh yeah… when I was young racehorse… from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds…. I’m the greatest racehorse that ever lived….blah blah blah…”

Now it was about this time the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, “I’m sick of you 2 telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I’m throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you lnow that when I was a young greyhound, from a hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds , no thirds.”

The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the first racehorse finally said, “Isn’t that amazing (hic)…a talking greyhound!”

College

A college’s student body is composed of the sons and daughters of the very rich who could not meet the academic requirements of any other collage. Lo and behold, the collage basketball team wins every game and dominates their league. All this success is due to one amazing player – a cross between Larry Bird and Michael Jordan.

This kid is terrific. The player and the team become the center of the nationwide media attention. The student body is thrilled. Now, the NCAA goes to the collage and asks for proof of this player’s academic eligibility. The collage administration promises such documentation in a few days. The faculty works night and day coaching the student for the crucial test.

The day the public examination arrives, and the entire student body is there to support their star player. A professor stands, and announces the first question, “How much is five and two?”
The student frowns in deep concentration – he thinks, he sweats, he shakes with effort. At last he shouts out the answer, “SEVEN”. The entire student body rises, and as a single voice, they cry. Give him another chance. Give him another chance”.

Well thats all for now. please enjoy yourselves, you all have a happy new year, I’m headed for bed here in alittle while, it is getting pretty late in the morning, but I want to get my post out before I went to sleep,thank you for your time, thank you for being my friend, Peace!

“If your right leg represents Christmas and your left leg is New Year’s, may I visit you between the holidays?”

I think the example may belong to this infamous category.

I signed up for the ipod, but got this message at the end: Fatal error: Call to undefined function base46_encode() in /home/payto2/public_html/join.php on line 286

Your teaching required some thought on my part as what to say. You mentioned from the Bible Peter meaning pebble and Jesus then called him a rock. I think there is a law of double reference in Bible Prophecy. I was thinking last night of one in Hosea the Prophet where it says OUT OF EGYPT I HAVE CALLED MY SON. and at first to me it seemed to refer to how God delivered the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt through Moses. But it mainly refers to where baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph had to flee to Egypt because the madman king Herod sought to kill the baby jesus. And when Herod was dead, then God called baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph to leave Egypt and return to Israel.

Anohter mystery from the bible that makes me think of quantum theory or cosmology. WITH THE LORD A DAY IS LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS, AND A THOUSAND YEARS ARE LIKE A DAY from 2 Peter 3:8.

Doobla entendweh? Dear russglish teacher. You speak franglish like a spanish cow.

The term “triple entente” is a double entendre/entante. It may be a synonym of “triple entendre” or relate to the agreement between Britain Russia and France against Germany and its allies signed in 1907.

Comic-Con is a funny double entendre, as the name is pronounced in the same way as Comecon, an economic organization of communist countries, existing in the years 1949-1991.

Hmm… Is this another way to believe that cons and conasses can be rather ludicrous, sometimes?

This being the last day of the year… is that time to think about the year ahead.

thats disgusting

That is almost like asking some one to bend over and have them spell run three time. I am going to borrow your saying if you don’t mind. it’s cool

I guess there is no need to ask what everyone is going to do for a New Years resolution. How many of us live up to them. lol Watch more of Marina

would ‘Pig Saved my Bacon’ be a dooble en tondee thingy?

How can this good music be disgusting?

My resolution is to cut down on my Internet (over)use, to write less on forums and to get rid of my tendencies to procrastination.

I quoted only a saying that was quoted by seesixcm6

Thanks fglx…

{ Illusionist } .^.Living down to them is my situation…Trailer: The Illusionist God: I love January… :-) …the birth of a new yEar! …The classic twin commercial for Doublemint gum with the slogan “Double Your Pleasure” ps…I’ll never spell RUN—r u n

One of my resolutions is to find ways not to upset too many people… while I make decisions that make… and keep… me happy. Some people respect maverick, eccentric, free-spirited people while other people raise their eyebrows in condemnation or maybe? envy.

Here’s a Metallica song named “Hero of the Day” One view is that it’s about people who like to worship the people in the media and all, when the people you really should be is who you meet in everyday life.

Thanks so much for the New Years card Marina!!!

But instead of ringing in my ears, I’m hearing a VERY LOUD unmuffled diesel VAROOMING!!!!!
Little earthshaking, like 10.0

Yup sexy is back ;)

Midnight Muah!!!!! Dear Teacher

I’m not sure I’ll pass on homework. I think these might {fit the bill}. I found them in my book of bumper stickers: -Save your breath you’ll need it to blow up your date- -I’m so great I’m jealous of myself- -I souport publik edjacation- -What do you mean what do I mean- -Hucked on foniks werked four me- I like the backdrop and your clothes. To me it feels like Art Deco going into the early 40′s. 1/1/11 Happy New Year 1/1/11 :’-)

Marina… I saw you in the crowd… but I forgot where… LOL!!!

Performance of Metallica in the Monsters of Rock concert in Moscow 1991.

MERRY NEW YEAR! Thank you for the New Year’s greeting. I always felt New Year’s was kind of a Deco holiday. Success to you in the year to come.

I know you know about about all the James Bond femme fatale in the Ian Fleming’s novels.
i.e. Pussy Galor.

Hey Smokey! – “Happy 2554. Yep, still in Thailand. Still over 543 years and about 7 hours ahead of the rest of the world. ”

I used to say that my old boss was WAY ahead of his time… and I guess he really is.

Hi Marina,
Thanks eversomuch for the beautifully eye popping New Year’s eCard! Made my day.
As far as double entendres go, I know a bunch with sexual overtones, but my favorite one of all time came from an actual newspaper headline: “Man struck by lightning faces battery charge.” Okay, maybe you had to be there.
Hope you have a Happy (and safe) New Year’s celebration, and I wish for you continued success, love and laughs in 2011. When the ball drops, I’m gonna kiss the lip prints that you put on my book (is that strange?).
xoxodc

PS Happy New Year to my fellow students as well!

Happy New Year to all my fellow classmates.
Great big Muah!! to our teacher.
Double pat for our class pet Gorby.

leoNard, my friend,
I must ask, if no one else has: Did you name this car?

Seriously, though, this being an evening for introspection, I wanted to take a moment to say hello and to wish you all the best in the coming year. You were the first to “speak” to me on this site, and while trolls, frogs and other non upright ambulatory types may come and go, and we have lost a dear friend, you are still leoNard, the universal constant of HFW. And I appreciate you. Good on ya, and cheers to ya, my friend.
dc

Hi Marina that was a good video i liked the Abbot & Costello skit very funny but very well done good job. Word request (CONUNDRUM) HAPPY NEW YEAR http://oi53.tinypic.com/2eeiy6x.jpg

{bearcat}…Soul is much of a car… funny how America is treated by the corporate soul running the dollar and city democracy of society enviroment/behavior and conscriptions—CAR CULTURE and motion picture sicknessHA-ha http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stutz_Bearcat

In the United States, the war was initially described by President Harry S. Truman as a “police action” as it was conducted under the auspices of the United Nations.–…Explaining why the occupation zone demarcation was positioned at the 38th parallel, Rusk observed, “even though it was further north than could be realistically reached by US forces, in the event of Soviet disagreement … we felt it important to include the capital of Korea in the area of responsibility of American troops”, especially when “faced with the scarcity of US forces immediately available, and time and space factors, which would make it difficult to reach very far north, before Soviet troops could enter the area.”

Goulden, Joseph C (1983). Korea: The Untold Story of the War. McGraw-Hill. p. 17

The Soviets agreed to the US occupation zone demarcation to improve their negotiating position regarding the occupation zones in Eastern Europe, and because each would accept Japanese surrender where they stood.—> sourced —> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_War

…I thought of you and that earthquake of INDIANA

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2010/1230/An-earthquake-in-Indiana-How-does-that-happen

..Happy Cheers To Your New Year…let the cake be cut

Conundrum…. nice car or pay the rent??? ;-)

OH OK I Remember that one now. Thanks. To much Holiday partying . HAPPY NEW YEAR Venom RocK

Here’s a few for double entendre: Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 (the most famous of all?):”Ah, isn’t that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.”First thing you should know about beavers and Ritchie’s birthday present from the ‘Bottom.’ Yeah, I know their old.Happy New Year Marina…best wishes and continued success in 2011 :-)Bagrock to the masses. ;-)…In spirit for the White Knight. :’-)

Here’s a few for double entendre: Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 (the most famous of all?):”Ah, isn’t that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.”First thing you should know about beavers and Ritchie’s birthday present from the ‘Bottom.’ Yeah, I know their old.Happy New Year Marina…best wishes and continued success in 2011 :-)Bagrock to the masses. ;-)…In spirit for the White Knight. :’-)

I hear that. Happy New year to you too Daniel. :-)

Happy New Year!

Just imaging what Marina has in store for us in 2011!!!!!

Look what she has done for us in 2010?

New Theme, brand new comments!
New additions, CSS additions, over 200 blog posts!

:) Happy new year! 2011 Brings a brand new start, lets start off right!

{trust fund}..2/2/2/

////\
/`O-O’
]
–

…<—This guy tries to pay for a burrito at Taco Bell with a two dollar bill and the manager thinks that two dollar bills don't exist, so he calls the security guard. In the end, the manager called 911 and the manager got a huge ass fine for not using 911 properly. Gorby had a sire/dog of breed..cheers to the new yEar to U

That happened to me also… you have to add the blank spaces yourself, like so…
<blockquote><code><big>&nbsp;////\\
&nbsp;/`O-O' &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;]
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-
</big></code></blockquote>

Hey Marina just got my new year’s card thank you. You look so pretty that is a very nice picture of you thank you. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU :-)

Double entendres, huh? Two of ‘em, huh? “Double your pleasure, double your fun.” Mmmmm.

I was just looking at wind turbine failures on YT and guess what popped up right in the middle of the list? The HFW lesson on PERKY! I could see nothing in the tags that could explain it. Does YT occasionally just pick something from your past and toss it into the current list to be viewed?

Will we get back the comment numbering that we had before DISQUS?

Happy New Year! Dogs Sing “Auld Lang Syne”

-Sierra, Cody, and Adam

So we were smoking a blunt with the younger crowd when my sister said, “I like the white joints better.” Double entrende?

So we were smoking a blunt with the younger crowd when my sister said, “I like the white joints better.” Double entrende?

So we were smoking a blunt with the younger crowd when my sister said, “I like the white joints better.” Double entrende?

***HAPPY NEW YEAR***

PS. Thank you, Marina, for the card.

***HAPPY NEW YEAR***

PS. Thank you, Marina, for the card.

Spot the differences :)

HotForWords Christmas Card version 1
HotForWords Christmas Card version 2
HotForWords Christmas Card version 3

HotForWords New Year Card version 1
HotForWords New Year Card version 2

I wish everybody a happy constructive healthy and lovely new year and for you to fulfill your dreams!!
And of course a special french kiss to my lady gaga.
Enjoy!
Nicolas

Happy New Year Leonard!… and Capman911… and everybody too!

Thanks M for the Happy New Years card.

Hey fglrx. How did you come up with so many different styles of Marina’s cards. I spotted the differences, or did you photo shop them? Just curious. (smile)

Why did you take down your video? Rare Earth was a great band. Even the band playing their music is great. Their music was a part of my generation and enjoyed. (smile) Smokey don’t give in to some of the negative comments. The only one to worry about is Marina. She is very forgiving, sweet and helpful.

Capman911… Okey-Dokey-Smokey here… I moved the Rare Earth video down below this post just under fglx’s comment… he liked the song so I moved it to someone who likes it.
Those negative comments belong with all the “youtoob-ers”… out there who don’t share our awesome taste in wonderful music from the 60′s and 70′s… (smile!)
Yes, Marina is forgiving, sweet and helpful… and that is good.

More music… Crowbar… Canadian Band in 70′s

I wanted to thanks marina for giving up so much hope in her vidéos, i think this is (hfw) the channel of hope! And sexy healthy way of life too for sure… You’re going to be the intelligent lady gaga of modern times (without the r&r attitude but with this awesome girl power!!!) !
Keep it up, EVER!! lol
Nicolas

Speaking of puns, here’s one from our member-on-hiatus Bob Morris:

Loquacious diaper = A nappy you hear. :-)

Hey! How are you? Been getting back–Smokey Lightfoot… is it a new winter(2011)?

…Rare Earth / I Just Want To Celebrate / 1974 California Jam …rAre eArtH ruLes…

…jah ever hEar crow’s… Crow Is From Minneapolis, Minnesota. In 1969, They Released This Great Top 40 Blues/Rocker That Made It Up To #19. You Might Know This Song By Black Sabbath…….But, This Is The Original. Check Out The Superb Horn Arrangements…Something You Almost Never Hear In Top 40 Rock Today!

sourced of video……you have TASTE…ps…Rare Earth is an American rock band affiliated with Motown’s Rare Earth record label (which was named after the band), who prospered in 1970-1972. Although not the first white band signed to Motown, Rare Earth was the first big hit-making act signed by Motown that consisted only of white members…

Remy Shand was signed up with Motown Records too…
Rare Earth has some great songs that’s for sure. Another one in that era was Three Dog Night.

The card in the email was loaded from the link
ih.constantcontact.com/fs096/1102628939690/img/7.jpg

Then try to change the 7 at the end for other numbers.

vidéos

You wrote sometimes with the French accent. Thats (a)cute :)

PS. About cute and acute

Thanks for the thoughtful wishes. I hope everybody appreciated them.

eccentric, free-spirited people

I respect such people much. I’ve also been hated and discriminated by some mindless people who can only imitate others and think with the phrases they heard in the mainstream media.

Awhile back when Marina’s Video “Porn” was still on the slideshow, my mom walked in the room and saw it, and was like “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” :-)

P.S, why didn’t my avatar update with my account on HFW?

I have a request: [box office].

Marina tweeted yesterday:

Happpppyyyyyyy New Yyyyyyeeeeaaaarrrrrrr Westside 

The problem with the last character of this tweet (U+E011) is that it belongs to the Unicode private use area, so it is font-dependent. With different fonts it is rendered as different symbols or nothing (an empty square).

Lots of the ones who haven’t experienced hardship usually have little originality. Many people I met and enjoyed were “in the Peanut Gallery” of sorts. Many were by-products of broken homes…boozin’ and carousin’… trying to make it to their next paycheck… while figuring out “life”. Painters, musicians and creative types come from this group… and they are usually “wonderful f*ck ups”.

Smith claimed his master, a Turkish nobleman, sent him as a gift to his Greek mistress in Constantinople, who fell in love with Smith. He then was taken to Crimea, from where he escaped from the Ottoman lands into Muscovy then on to the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Smith then traveled through Europe and Northern Africa, returning to England during 1604.—>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Smith_(explorer)

In 1606 Smith became involved with plans to colonize Virginia for profit by the Virginia Company of London, which had been granted a charter from King James I of England. The expedition set sail in three small ships,

the Discovery,

the Susan Constant

and

the Godspeed,

on December 20, 1606.

~~~~~~more wikipedia sourced—“Also in 1608, Polish craftsmen were brought to the colony to help it develop. Smith wrote that two Poles rescued him when he was attacked by a native American.”………….In 1614, Smith returned to the Americas in a voyage to the coasts of Maine and Massachusetts Bay. He named the region “New England”…. @red-dragon {cross-eyed}

Marina,

As I was watching your video, I could see that you have a very healthy personality! :-)

The only one to worry about is Marina. She is very forgiving, sweet and helpful.

I was also among her critics through some time (without hate, but with some harsh words about narcissism etc.), only later I realized how beautiful internally and externally she is and how many people misinterpreted everything what she did. I can’t comprehend why 95% of Youtube comments under her videos are vulgar, abusive or hateful, as she never harms or hates anybody, she just shares her internal joy and beauty coupled with an informative and funny message.

I know that negative or even positive emotions can change not only the interpretation, but also the perception. When I saw the HotForWords book for the first time, I wondered how come such a Plain Jane may publish her photographs and think she is a supermodel. Now I see a lot of beauty in the same pictures. I must admit that around two years ago I thought she is another mediocre and shallow blonde with inflated ego (like Paris Hilton) who thinks she’s very attractive and very intelligent. Much later, after reading her book I noticed everything is really OK with her intellect and her thoughts are profound enough. In the book she has shown her reflective side. I started to see the difference between the features of the form and the traits of the person. Then I noticed how helpful and forgiving she is.

Now she totally appeals to me in plenty of aspects and I take delight in watching her and listening to her. She has beautiful appearance, beautiful personality and beautiful mind – maybe not in the eyes of everyone, because it’s subjective matter, but for me it’s definitely true.

I remember that PedanticKarl believed in the inborn goodness of the human nature, but I’m probably unable to share such enthusiasm. There are too many haters in the world and without some analytical and critical thinking it’s easy to become one of them by remaining at the stage of the first impression.

ME! (zthe answer!)

So…. sorry for this megalo pseudo…

even…….

Hello everyone, I will ask you how your doing? would you answer ? What’s up with the class lately. Everybody partying in up for 2011! Happy New Years to all, that would include everyone. I speak to you as a fellow classmate/friend. I can’t speak for anyone else, but thats the way I see it. as of now I see my good friend VenomRock @impaler112 I replied to your post in the metal forum, and made some new posts as well. I hope you notice it before the New Years is over, but tis the season to party enjoy yourself! My man leoNard there you b my friend haven’t heard from you lately Thank you so much for the new cool lesson, and the awesome Happy New Years card you are the best Marina, your smokin’ hot as usual! Peace! yeah the night is almost gone with my emotions and imagination I like to say thank you for all your support, following, I have created for you with the jokes link to weird, and amazing things, find laughs, but I’m going to sleep for know! I’m up to any subjects! I’m a good listener as long as the conversation is in friendship,
Wait just for the very few I will press on and try to find you entertainment that you seem to like! That’s how much I care! No lies!
LG Mobile 3D TV
Hagar The Horrible
Worlds Deadliest Animal
Women And Beer Advertising In The Past
Worlds Largest Donut Made With Donuts
National Geographic Unique Moments
Amazing Illustrations by Dan Scott
Oarfish The Sea Serpent Of Ancient Times
20 Species You Don’t Want To Meet
Something Big That Can Cause Women Lower Back Pain
A Russian Farm Worth a Million $
Russian Art Reaches Louvre
OMG Photos
Take Time To Laugh Very Funny Fail Photos
3D Paper Illusions
21 Worst Logo Fails Ever
Airplanes Create Art In The Sky
Some Of The Weirdest Creatures
Top Ten Cats You Never Seen Before
So This Is The Power Of Makeup
Most Scariest Legends On Some Paces
Fast And Furious 5
Pirates Of The Caribbean 4
Top 10 McDonalds Products That Failed
Think These Are Photoshopped Guess Again
Cat Friendly House Design
12 Accidental Deaths You Won’t Believe
Children Of Russia’s Elite Accused Of Living Above The Law
The Craziest Subway Photos
Brilliant Optical Illusions
10 Of The Greatest Magic Tricks Ever
Karate Kitten
Hyper Realistic Paintings?
100 MPH Car Crash
10 Most Creative Resumes

Some Jokes And Bizarre news coming up!

I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas.
For three days all I heard from him was “In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, ” etc. It eventually became very annoying.

Being from Niagara Falls, I thought I could out do him by showing him the “Mighty Niagara.”knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this “Wonder Of Water & Power”.

While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him: “Do you have anything like this in Texas?” He waited a moment before he answered: “No, but we have a plumber that could fix it.”

—————-
A farmer knocked on the door of a neighboring farmhouse and a youngster answered his knock.
The farmer asked: “Is your father or mother at home?” The child said that they were both in town.

The farmer then asked if his brother, Harold, was at home. The youngster said he was at the other farm doing chores.

The youngster said: “I’m nine years old, sir, and I know where all the tools and wrenches are located, so I can get that for you.”

The farmer said he had a problem he had to talk to his father about. The farmer’s daughter was pregnant, and his brother, Harold, was the father. The youngster looked the man in the eye for a minute and said: “I don’t know what to tell you, mister. Dad gets $50.00 for the boar, $500.00 for the bull, but I’m not sure what he charges for Harold.”

Ten Common Full-Time Employee Ailments

1. The Macy’s One Day Sale Flu.

2. The Drivers Licence Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus.

3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains.

4. The I’m Looking for a New Job and I Don’t Know How Long It’s Going To Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then Mysterious Infection.

5. The My Boyfriend’s Got The Week Off So Suddenly I’m Too Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.

6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn’t Make Evening Appointments Bout of Influenza.

7. The There’s No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a Day Off Sickness.

8. The It’s Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I’m a Teenager Again General Ailment.

9. The I’ve Messed Up Royally and I Won’t Come In To Face the Music Terminal Illness.

10. The I Really Am Sick and I’ve Got The Doctor’s Bills and the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It Infirmity.

Quote of Wisdom

“One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh.
Because I didn’t know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.” –Jack Handy

Cuff Links

During his Freshman year, my son Steve couldn’t get home for Christmas. So he sent me a set of inexpensive cuff links and a note reading: “Dear Dad, This is not much, but it’s all you could afford.”

Stuck

My husband David’s colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, “Get me out!”

“Don’t worry, “David replied, “Maintenance should be sending somebody.”

“They did. ” said the voice.

Workplace Haikus

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
countless others exist

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Windows NT Crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Haikus for the Workplace

Errors have occurred.
We won’t tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Server’s poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We’d tell you where, but then we’d
have to delete you.

Wind catches lily
scatt’ring petals to the wind:
Segmentation fault

ABORTED effort:
Save and close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The tao that is seen
Is not true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Haikus to Enjoy at Work

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can’t bridge.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be without meaning
No struggle, no joy

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Workin’ on Haikus

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the darn file, Hal
Open the file, please Hal

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message
These words: “File not found.”

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Bizarre News

Who ever said today’s youth is stupider than they ever were?
Because they might have been talking about the kids Apollo Beach, Florida.

Two Apollo Beach brothers were arrested after the son of a theft victim saw Internet photos of them wearing what appeared to be his mother’s gold chains. The two boys, ages 14 and 16, were charged with third-degree grand theft.

Oh, wait, it gets better. Police also arrested several other suspects. One, who was wearing an electronic ankle monitor, denied being involved in burglaries but was charged after the monitor allegedly placed him at the crime scene.

Investigators arrested some of the suspects by posing as buyers of stolen items. Thousands of dollars worth of laptop computers, jewelry and other items were seized.

A spokeswoman for the Sheriff’s Department, said surfing the Web is becoming a common law enforcement tool. Especially with idiots like these guys logging on every day to advertise their crimes!

Leafs spectator arrested after waffle toss

Toronto – A Toronto Maple Leafs fan was ejected from a game, and then arrested, after becoming the latest to throw waffles onto the ice to protest the team’s poor play. Toronto police charged Joseph Robb, 31, of Oakville with mischief after he allegedly threw several waffles and an Eggo box onto the ice during the third period of Monday night’s loss to the Atlanta Thrashers, the Toronto Star reported. Robb was banned from all three Maple Leaf Sports &Entertainment arenas, officials said. A man first threw a handful of waffles onto the ice after the team’s Dec. 9 loss against the Philadelphia Flyers and a Twitter user who who identified himself as Jack M. took responsibility and threatened to strike again. Using the handle “EGGO_BOMBER, ” he tweeted the Leafs “Need to wake up and eat some breakfast.” The Leafs (12-17-4) have lost three straight games and five of their last seven, and are in last place in the Northeast Division, 12 points behind first- place Montreal.

Man burns house trying to smoke out bees

Lake Worth, Fla. – Florida firefighters said a man caused heavy damage to his home when he tried and failed to smoke a bee colony out of his house, Capt. Don DeLucia, spokesman for Palm Beach County Fire Rescue, said Mario Go of Lake Worth was trying to smoke the bees out of a column supporting a second-story balcony Tuesday and accidentally set the house on fire, The Palm Beach Post reported.
DeLucia said the fire caused about $50,000 worth of damage but no one was injured. He said the fire failed to drive away the bees.

Police follow debris to stolen ATM

Jacksonville, Fla. – Police in Florida said they followed a trail of debris from a credit union to a suspect in a front-end loader carrying an ATM ripped from the building.
Jacksonville police said they responded to a burglar alarm about 3:50 a.m. Monday and discovered the Vystar Credit Union structure had been demolished and an ATM was missing, The (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union reported Wednesday. Investigators followed a trail of debris to a Caterpillar front-end loader attempting to turn from a highway onto a bike trail. They said the driver of the loader kept going despite police turning on their lights then put the heavy machine into reverse and headed straight for a patrol car. The police evaded the machine and it again fled away, but stopped after about 500 feet and police arrested Robert Anderson, 31.
Police said the ATM was severely damaged but its cash cartridge remained intact. Anderson was jailed on charges of burglary in excess of $1,000 and aggravated assault.

If we didn’t have the word poop would we all be constipated?

The haikus gave me a really hard laugh. That’s intelligent humor for intelligent people. Something similar to The Tao of Programming, but not so esoteric.

The haikus gave me a really hard laugh. That’s intelligent humor for intelligent people. Something similar to The Tao of Programming, but not so esoteric.

Marina tweeted:

Time is like a river, you can’t touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again

Another version:
“You cannot step twice into the same stream. For as you are stepping in, other waters are ever flowing on to you” — Heraclitus of Ephesus

Maybe this thought came to his mind when after he had lost his pants in the stream of a river?

Another interesting thought of Heraclitus: “All is flux, nothing is stationary.”

What did you say?? RES-PECT! – “walk” pantera

LOUD!

I f****** LOVE ur real* eyz!! (n:p

it sounds like good trip hop? (YEAH I WRITE A LOT, FORGET ME!!) (only you can ahah)*

“‘oui je peux rrester (btw**) so long it’s……………………………………………………………….and gonna………………………………………………………………………………..u…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..as……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………f******………………………………………………………………………………………………….!

Watching (and listening) to Marina AND listening to Pantera…. APURE DELIGHT!! (and a rapper one lol AHAHAH) I hope you would have dreamed this night.. *************
DN=

I’ve always been the opposite of the people who booze and carouse but a kind of nerd and a critical thinker what often made me an outsider everywhere I went. At school I had more serious interests than most of my peers, I had also always good grades but some teachers bullied me for example because sometimes I dared correct their errors. Similar things happened at the university several times. I almost always was trying to help people and many of them pretended to be my friends as long as they needed my help and then started to hate me with no clear reason. But I won’t give up helping people because of that. Almost everything what I was trying to do finally failed even if started perfectly, sometimes without anyone’s fault (among other things because of somebody’s death or serious illness). So I had a lot of negative experiences in my short life. But I will be trying still and not giving up.

I was your first sentence too… then I hit the booze pretty hard… then realized I was part Native American Indian… and totally quit drinkin’. I was the nice, helpful guy that others couldn’t understand. My “drum beat” is different… you could say. LOL!!!

{Poppycock!} :razz:

Hi matrix,
Just a thought: If you’d split these huge posts by section and post them as several smaller ones, they’d be easier to reply to. Sometimes I think of a reply to one section but don’t post it because it would not be clear what I’m replying to. :-)

So did you just say, “Porn!”?

***Zero-entendres: The Randomness Fad***

Is there such a thing as a “zero-entendre?”
In my role as Dad, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party with 8 teenage girls. Here is a conversation I overheard:
“Y’know what? Pickles!”
“Oh yeah? Sardines!”
“Well, if you wanna be like that…lawnmower!”
“Sardines AND a lawnmower!”
“Mascara!!
“NOT IN FRONT OF MY DAD!!!”
So, can anyone explain the “randomness fad” to me? :??? :roll:

***Homework: Double-entendre: Robert Burns’ Country Matters***

Bobby Burns often wrote about what he (or was it Shakespeare?) called “country matters,” as in The Rigs O’ Barley

Bobby Burns Day is Jan. 25!

“Auld Scotland wants nae {skinking} ware
That {jaups} in {luggies};
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer
Gie her a {haggis!} “

Just for fun…

Bulgarian Soul: Nevena Tsoneva sings “Hit the Road, Jack!” :-D

Just had an awesome 4/3 watch!*

*Pirat!

Bn:p
luV*

12*

I am having trouble logging in, “503 Service Unavailable” is what I am getting

Some .. flat .. energy ..

Old .. beat .. trip **

I like the name of the server error that is often displayed here today: Guru Meditation. It reminds me of the glorious times of Amiga computers. I had an Amiga 1200 in the early 90′s. Guru Meditation in AmigaOS was an equivalent of the Blue Screen of Death in Windows.

OK… here is a double entendre… and I don’t know if this is made up on purpose or not.
It is crude and juvenile… if you are under the age of your age plus one year… don’t watch it! LOL!!! I will pull this video if people don’t like it… I promise!

In Portland, Oregon they have areas on the street that are strictly for bicycles… called bike boxes.

I don’t understand the Unicode symbols. I have seen them in some of my comments on other sites and have always wondered how they appear or what causes them. At one time I had a problem with my lettering on here looking like that. Karl showed me where to go in my browser and change my unicode over to UTF-8 and I didn’t have any more problems. So is this something a person can make happen or show up when they want to?

Yes and no… depends on a variable set of abstract principles within the nomenclature of electrons, neurons, protons and morons. I really haven’t the foggiest idea of a short, precise or concise answer without going the long way around the entire subject. Thus, I hope someone else out there will be able to confound you with gibberish that leads on a wild goose chase to where you started. LOL!!!

OK as far the “double entendre” is concerned, I have thought of 2 which I think are worth mentioning. First, I think that the word “psychotherapist” is a double entendre as this compound word can be broken into 4 syllables (you alter the stress, and purposely mispronunciate) therefore giving the auditory appearance of three seperate words. I don’t want to spell it out because it just looks too creepy in print.

End then there was a proverbial slogan that went around amongst the allied armed forces during world war II, and many today have heard it . . . “Loose lips sink ships”, (Nazi spys are everywhere), and I think that it may be a reference to encourage avoiding sexual encounters during wartime which could easily lead to “pillow talk” that went on between military (intel) officials and their double agent / sexual partners who were masters at promiscuity, seduction, and traveling incognito. I’m not sure on this one. Maybe someone else knows.

Hello fglrx, how are you doing? What’s up lately? Thank you for your reply, you at least taken the time to let me known that you thought what section, or what you liked, I’m glad you got good laughs from the haikus, thank you so much for letting me know this. It makes me feel good and see that my work has payed off to at least make you laugh. And my friend, I thank you for your post on The Tao of Programming, very funny LOL! Some errors at Hot For Words, I hope that it is fixed. Hope you enjoyed the Holidays, that is if you celebrate them where you live! Are you getting any snow out your way, I has been raining, and it is cold enough, bbuuurrrrr! Well hope to hear from you soon, one of my most loyal follower, and responder, I appreciate your faithfulness, and constant caring. Know if some others would follow, the great example that you are there and care, even with my big posts, you still can find something, that you let know at least one thing that caught your eye, or entertained you in some way. I used to post smaller sections, and I got the same or less, sometimes even no responses. So what to do, maybe they just take you for the greatest example, you always look over, say you like it,then you go beyond that and give me a personal, or more specific on what you enjoyed. I remember you even giving one of the best complements that most would give. For that I’m very grateful, and humble by the greatness in you, that you let shine! So I say see you you soon, And may you keep shining as as one of the best examples of a very cool guy,and it shows. May peace, and whatever makes you, you, keep rolling with grace down those tracks. The world needs more people like you.

UTF-8 is the most popular method of encoding Unicode characters. Almost all sites use it.

The issue that I noticed isn’t a problem. The Unicode standard allows using non-standard characters that are additional to the basic set. For example, standard fonts used in Apple computers contain above 1200 additional symbols in comparison with their equivalents in Windows. If someone uses such a symbol, it won’t be properly displayed on computers with Windows. That’s not a problem, because those symbols missing in some fonts don’t convey any useful information and are used just for fun.

Hello Evan Owen, thank you for your advice, and comments. I started out posting smaller sections, it didn’t seem to make any difference, except about the same or less, but if you say you would respond to smaller, separate sections, then I will try it again, just for you and my great few followers, I hope this will increase to at least your response.I will give it a go! What say you fglrx how does that sound to you, or anyone else out there with your ears on Lol! Just Trying to throw a little good ol’ Dukes Of Hazards humor. Sheppard To Lost Sheep, Come in lost sheep! See you later. Peace!

Hope you enjoyed the Holidays, that is if you celebrate them where you live!

There are almost no differences in the ways of celebration, as in all the countries of Western Christian (i.e. Catholic and Protestant) heritage. The different traditions, originating in Eastern Christianity, begin beyond the east boundary of Poland.

I has been raining, and it is cold enough, bbuuurrrrr!

We had frosts and snow before and after Christmas, but a melt during Christmas. Of course the frost after the one-day melt caused a thick layer of ice on sidewalks and it was dangerous to walk, even sand and salt helped not much. Today we have 1°C / 34°F and a melt again.

And thank you for the compliments! You are also a really cool guy. Your jokes and tidbits are very educating for me, as I learn from them a lot about unusual ways of using English and I become more conscious how the language works.

Hello Smokey, how are you doing? Great choice in your song Metallica Hero Of The Day, and an excellent way to explain the meaning that seems very valid to me. , and hearing your thoughts. Right on dude! Keep up the grate posts, See you later, Peace!

Cool video , song / singing. Keep them cute and heartwarming songs by the signing dog! See you later! Peace!

Again, I’m not sure if this is a double entendre. When saying good bye to some one you announce: “See you in church if the windows are clean.” Hey, I’m trying!

Again, I’m not sure if this is a double entendre. When saying good bye to some one you announce: “See you in church if the windows are clean.” Hey, I’m trying!

I Need to talk to that Texas plumber good stuff :-)

I am doing well… avoided eating too much over the holiday season… and got lots of rest. You sure are a prolific poster of info/points of interest. Where are you from?
I haven’t been a big Metallica follower… but a few of their more commercially successful songs I like. In the past, I never really paid much attention to the words in music… mostly I like the rhythm and melody.

I won’t be able to catch up to you with posts… but, I will add something here and there according to a whim or inspiration… or to give an answer to Marina’s lesson.

Peace… &… “Eternal Grooviness” to you too!

When Zsa Zsa Gabor visited the Johnny Carson Show, she brought her prize pet feline, a beautiful white Persian. After chatting for awhile, Zsa Zsa noticed Johnny watching her pet, almost as if in anticipation of something. She offered, “Would you like to pet my pussy?”

Johnny wasted no time in replying, “Sure, if you move your cat.”

The farmer said he had a problem he had to talk to his father about. The farmer’s daughter was pregnant, and his brother, Harold, was the father. The youngster looked the man in the eye for a minute and said: “I don’t know what to tell you, mister. Dad gets $50.00 for the boar, $500.00 for the bull, but I’m not sure what he charges for Harold.”

…This following reply pop up from another that didn’t work..????…oh well!…Doghouse Boogie ..Reply back too!

12xo/10/xo11 ~~Seasick Steve on Jools Hooland Hootenanny!: Doghouse Boogie …how! :-)

That one is a great one… she was pretty hot back then too!

Well, having received a positive response, I must add my own sesquipedalian paraphrase to those you posted earlier:

“Ancient vocabulary is superior, and ancient vocabulary when abbreviated is superlative!”

(“Old words are best, and old words when short are best of all.” — Winston Churchill)

I think you should send this to Doctor Lorem Ipsum … it could be loaded with “code”. I think they might be drinking too much diet coke with aspartame… LOL!!!

Just for fun:
Grave Humour from Ireland :-D

Is “grave” a double-entendre? Is “Grave Humour” an oxymoron?

An epitaph (inscription on tombstone) read…
Bob, a simple man who died of complications.

Examples of sexual innuendo and double-entendre occur in Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales (14th century), in which the Wife of Bath’s tale is laden with double entendres. The most famous of these may be her use of the word “queynte” to describe both domestic duties (from the homonym “quaint”) and genitalia (“queynte” being a root of the modern English word cunt.)~~~~~~~~<—My Ding-A-Ling

Catgut is made from sheep intestines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~extortionists and protection racketeers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the {rUSe} is to {rule}

I washed that bread down/(wine), after charging 40 dollars for that nickle aspirin and then the nurse, said; that I was late with my pew rent…something is rotten in Denmark!

the farmer was breeding late into the kNite/artificial insemination

How’s-she hanging? “If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me is a song written by David Bellamy,the song was released in 1979 and became a first No. 1 hit on the Billboard magazine Hot Country Singles chart that spring …

@thematrix75 much information…that Russian farm looks like —it took me to the past…money and careers..–> Top 10 Viral Videos of 2010 – #9 (Montana Fishburne’s Porn)

……breaking-bred/abortion…jah ever think of being a reporter? ..I see it …Neo the great HotForWords reporter……happy cheering —2011!

If you do a book or a video learning series on SAT words or other tests you will be the single cause for a rise in male college graduates….. to think about it why dont you do it ….let me thank you also as your lessons are really helping me build my vocabulary … people really listen to me when i speak to them as you always say … “Intelligence is sexy”

When is your podcast series for Russian gonna start

Um dude, What were you saying?…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFqg5wAuFk

I’ve recently seen such a comment about Marina on a blog of an American living in Poland (one of the blogs I like to read because of this guy’s weird views – I like people who are somehow freaks – but the comment was from someone anonymous):

She was a stripper. That’s a definite. The pictures in the TV special were Photoshopped, but she was a stripper. It’s easy to come to that conclusion when you learn that she was part of a Hollywood burlesque show called “Ladies in Lace”.

She’s probably neurotic all the time, trying to keep this information a secret. It will undoubtedly come out at some point, though. The thing is, I’m sure the men she attracts won’t mind. The kind of men who go after her, whether they admit it or not, are already into the stripper/cheap girls. That’s how she presents herself, and that’s what they are going for. They say they admire her intelligence, but let’s get serious: nobody is watching her to learn anything. They’re just trying to impress her.

I think she’s cheap, and she needs to grow up. She’s 30 years old and still dresses like a teenager. Pathetic. She’s gone beyond the “sexy teacher” look and has moved into “slutty schoolgirl” territory.

This information about the burlesque might be true, but I don’t think acting in a burlesque makes a woman automatically a stripper. The burlesque performers rarely show off everything. I think Marina might have wanted to be a model or an actress a few years ago, so he might have been going to various casting. I don’t see nothing bad in the fact that she tried to find her way and she finally found it.

The “neurotic” thing is only someone’s speculation. But are neurotic people worse? I’m a very neurotic person like many of us.

In summer in streets I see lots of girls dressed more scantily than Marina in her videos. Are they all “cheap sluts”? I see nothing immoral in how she dresses, it’s nothing more than I can see in the real world.

Should I response to that comment or better not?

Some say cabotinage becomes pathetic after a certain age. Some say adults acting like teengers are like teenagers acting like childs or like childs acting like babies.

There is a time for everything. There is a time to act like a child, and there is a time to act like an adult. I say you don’t need to ask around to know if you should reponse to that comment or not. This mind has been built (or influenced) that way, by the life it has lived so far. Is it a mistake or not? If you think it is challenging your reality, your perception of the world around you and perhaps influencing you or disturbing you, then feigning to ignore it would be weak, submissive and passive. If it’s your way, then let it be. If it’s not, then don’t let it be that way.

To no one’s surprise, I SLEPT thru that earthquake! LOL

I finally got my notices to work like the olden days. All it took was a pencil and paper to work things out. I’ll see you in the funny pages?

I finally got my notices to work like the olden days. All it took was a pencil and paper to work things out. I’ll see you in the funny pages?

I finally got my notices to work like the olden days. All it took was a pencil and paper to work things out. I’ll see you in the funny pages?

That’s funny!

hey Evan happy new year bro you know

why they have fences arround cemetary’s ??

people are dieing to get in. lol B.B.

A good joke!

Wool gets pulled…the sheep were tended by the ladies of…Twist Party w/ Pontani Sisters, Straitjackets & KaiserGeorge …I wanted to make some pun with cheap girls and sheep meat/meet to sleep with cheap…

the benefits of speaking extemporaneously instead of reading word-for-word~~~

…An old {sodbuster} comes to town and decides he wants to marry Kitty. When he won’t leave her alone she declares she’ll shoot him if he pesters her anymore…1 more…0 – 0…pundit—-’Pundit’ is a loan word borrowed in English during the British Raj from the Hindi language and is of Sanskrit origin.

222

That guy is an idiot and used the wrong word there… it should be just worried.

Neurosis…
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/neurosis
…is an actual mental condition.

Even if Trusty was a stripper… so what.
Stripper equals… show yourself for money?

Every freakin’ actress does that.
I have the utmost respect for Kate Winslet, here she is full frontal nudity…
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/204458/kate_winslet_nude/

If you need to make some money, stripping is actually a smarter way to do it, there are never any pictures of it.

I don’t get it… any famous girl I want to see, right now, I can get complete naked images and movies of her… except trusty (and she is the one everyone is jumping on).

Here is Kate Winslet singing a fantastic song…

I’m going to watch naked movies of her while I listen.

If I tried to get a naked picture of Trusty, she would come to my house and beat me up.

They also say stuff about her education? That doesn’t matter either. She knows more know about English then 99.9% of USA college professors.
Russian professors that teach English are not even in the same league as her anymore.

Bill Gates, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg and a lot more all dumped college immediately when they found out what they where supposed to do. And those guys were in the best colleges USA funded by their parents.

College is for non creative people that can’t do think or do anything on their own
(I don’t have anything against that though, a lot of people need it).

Trusty is also an expert with computers, acting, directing, writing, marketing, showmanship, solving problems and a lot of other things.

{savoir faire}

The stuff about the stripping and the lack of education was made up by one Russian TV gossip show and since this time the gossip has been going around the Internet. In those times Marina claimed she was from Nizhny Novgorod and the paparazzis tried to investigate there and they found nothing about her so they made up the story. Later she admitted she lived in Arzamas and studied in Arzamas. It was normal she didn’t want to reveal all facts about her to protect the privacy of her and her family when she was an object of so much mockery from many stupid people. Now she doesn’t give a damn about haters, but back in time she worried much.

I don’t know why so many idiots call Marina a slut or even worse. Her outfits in the videos are what we can normally see in average girls in summer, so I completely don’t understand the issue. They act like they have never seen a woman before.

And as you wrote, even if she was a stripper, I would not see any reason to blame her for that. This is another stupid stereotype that if a woman was a stripper, she must be bad to the bone.

The stuff about the stripping and the lack of education was made up by one Russian TV gossip show and since this time the gossip has been going around the Internet. In those times Marina claimed she was from Nizhny Novgorod and the paparazzis tried to investigate there and they found nothing about her so they made up the story. Later she admitted she lived in Arzamas and studied in Arzamas. It was normal she didn’t want to reveal all facts about her to protect the privacy of her and her family when she was an object of so much mockery from many stupid people. Now she doesn’t give a damn about haters, but back in time she worried much.

I don’t know why so many idiots call Marina a slut or even worse. Her outfits in the videos are what we can normally see in average girls in summer, so I completely don’t understand the issue. They act like they have never seen a woman before.

And as you wrote, even if she was a stripper, I would not see any reason to blame her for that. This is another stupid stereotype that if a woman was a stripper, she must be bad to the bone.

I have nice classical guitar and I think classical strings are made from either plastic or catgut?
I don’t mind playing a cheap guitar, but I really don’t want to play a sheep guitar.

I have nice classical guitar and I think classical strings are made from either plastic or catgut?
I don’t mind playing a cheap guitar, but I really don’t want to play a sheep guitar.

Yes… I saw that russian video. And in it she is flipping through her calender and there is the picture I like of her holding a guitar.
So I want to know why she didn’t send me the calendar or even tell me about the calender?

p.s. It’s just jealous people… they have to slam others.

She announced her calendar in October 2008:
http://www.hotforwords.com/2008/10/30/my-calendar-is-out/

I knew about the calenders but I didn’t know that guitar picture was in one of them, and I even asked about it. It is a can of worms now. I’m actually flabbergasted.

It’s your fault…
http://www.hotforwords.com/2010/12/01/pr0n/#comment-106383468
…You sneaky devil!   :-)

Maybe Marina still has some copies of the 2009 calendar and can send you one if you ask her?

Nah… the best thing for me to do is not involve myself with other people at all.
I always (inadvertently) find out the truth about stuff and I hate it.

That’s why I want to live in France… I won’t know what anyone is saying and I’ll be happy. I’ll even get a girlfriend and I won’t know what she is saying, that will be great.

How come receiving a postal mail would involve you with other people more than communication by the Internet?

It wouldn’t have had to be postal it could have been a simple email of guitar picture (already in calender), I guess I’m crazy.

You are the master of finding stuff on the internet

That’s the only 3 calendar pictures I could find. I saw the page with the guitar picture somewhere in the Internet at one time, but in a low resolution and now I can’t find it.

Yes… I saw that also, I think Karl posted it in one of the forums or something. It is a can or worms now.

This is cool… I replied to you without the reply button.

Has Smokey Lightfoot deleted his account? All his posts are now assigned to a Guest account with information “This message was anonymized by its previous owner “.

Not true.. if I had been a stripper I would tell you… I don’t have anything to hide. I don’t like getting my family involved in things, so I like to keep some things private, but when you do that, you have to be willing to deal with the consequences of people making stuff up.

I love it! I find it really funny! When I say that I would make a horrible stripper… I mean it! I would be the worst!

Hello leoNard, how are you doing pal? Good hearing from you! Thank you for all the cool and funny stuff. Me a reporter, now that would be something. Only you leoNard, you got a very great imagination, and a very witty and deep personality. It is always a pleasure to hear from you my friend. Stay cool, see you soon, and Peace!

i have one of those calenders intact actually

the front cover is personally sighned by teacher

however i dont have the capabilities to upload same.

Hello danielpool good hearing from you! I thank you for pointing out what you thought was good stuff. That means a lot to me. Glad you liked it. And thank you for taking time out to say so! These kind of posts make my day, hope to see you soon. Peace!

Have any of you ever wondered WHY no new calender?

Marina i would love a 2011 HFW Calender. how about it??

Hello I’m back, now to try and dissect this into smaller portions. 15 Funny Signs

I knew that was not true (and I’d never believe it might be), so yesterday I responded to them extensively trying to convince them the bad things they wrote about you were made up. The owner of the blog answered:

Nod. People often do not like people who succeed. One thing I noticed about success is you often get a lot of people who are resentful of you and dislike you. As long as you are morally sound and not hurting others, you should take this as a complement. I need to revisit my ideas about Marina Orlova and look objectively. At the very least she is a marketing genius. Further, I do not know if she is striving to reduce her accent for professional reasons or for personal reasons, but I would say her accent in English is less than my accent in Russian or Polish by a long shot.

So maybe it convinced some of them somehow. I would ignore that if the authors were primitive trolls, but some of the comments under that blog post contained a very elaborated and long list of slanders and insults. You are such a good person and it’s really horrible to see how many people try to insult you with no reason.

Hot-WTF Pictures Of Women
<a href="http://dipdip.org/archives/2010/10/Breast-Staring-Contest/1436?utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha:<Breast Staring Contest

Cute Pictures Of Children And Animals
River Crossing
Cute And Funny Pictures Of Animals Part 11

I am worried about Smokey too.. What happened to him? I heard he’s 120 years old. He might be facing some health problems, I don’t know. Has he found enlightenment on his way? Has he found love? Who knows? Mystery mystery.

I also heard that Miss Orlova is actually a Hollywoodian collagenic marvel of plastic surgery. She is 84 years old supposedly, and all her videos are photoshopped after tons of makeup are carefully applied to her face to mask the numerous imperfections of her traits and features. Her real name is Mawinada Waspoutina, she also might be parent with Raspoutine the Russian Monk and her real profession is Russian Pole Dancer (but no complete stripping though, only tiny bikini playa dancing supposedly). Not sure about that. Anyone has found any reference on the net perhaps?

Might this be the work of bad primitive evil trolls? Or is it true??? I don’t know I tell you.

Creative T-Shirts Designs
<a href="http://smilepanic.com/most-creative-buildings-of-the-world.-part-2"<Most Creative buildings Of The World
Drawings Which Enter Three Dimensional

While Marina really loves to do what she does, she is also a smart business lady. She noticed the potential when she started.

I see a lot of comments on YouTube about fake breast. I think those men (or boys) have never heared of tight clothes. Because I think Marina uses that at times to accentuates her beautiful figure. Maybe Marina even uses push-up/wonder bra, I’m no expert either. ;-)

Personally I just tend to believe what The Young Turks said: “the camera does not do you justice you are actually hotter in real life”:

Behind The Scenes Of Miss Russia
Big Trees
Woman Police Offers
Another 12 Unfortunate Logos

The Farmer and the Obnoxious Lawyer

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

“Didn’t you say, ‘I’m fine,’ at the scene of the accident?” asked the lawyer. Clyde responded: “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the…” ” I didn’t ask for any details, ” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, ‘I’m fine’, at the scene of the accident?”

Clyde continued: “Well, I had just got bessie in the trailer and I was and I was driving down the road…” The lawyer interrupted again and said: “Judge i am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now, several weeks later the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer: “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”

Clyde thanked the judge and proceeded: “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move.

However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning.
I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and asked, ‘How are you feeling?’ ”
“Now what the hell would you say?”

What would Dear Abby Say?

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 and hour every week for two-and-a half years.
He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I din’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby, do you think it would be all right if i gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get get pregnant and couldn’t and he did it.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

Hey thematrix75 I like it all especially the three dimensional drawings. Very cool how they could do that WOW ???? :-)

Overheard on Dear Abby

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two woman go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can i do about all the sex, nudity, foul language, and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years, It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

New Definitions

Abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Balderbash(n), a rapidly receding hairline.

Carcinoma (n), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon.

esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

flatulence (n), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Some New Definitions

lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.

marionettes (n), residents of Washington DC who have been jerked around by the mayor.

negligent (adj), describes a condition where you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

oyster (n), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

semantics (n), pranks, conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest’s prayer book together before mass.

Words of Navajo Wisdom

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface.

Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits.

Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are ready to go to the moon. The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not.

Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to translate. Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, “Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land.”

R.I.P

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, Praise the Lord,”Amen,” and Glory!” I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, “I never saw anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic systems for twenty years.”

Cannibal Jokes

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second manasks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man’s turn. He asked for a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”

Men vs. Women Joke

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
.
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did

you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir I
don’t wish to interfere with your

private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen

before. For whom do you morn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied

“My wife’s first husband.”

Well danielpool how are you doing my friend, What’s been up with you? You were intrigued by the three dimensional pictures, so am I . I wish I knew how they pulled off this amazing feat. Thank you for your comments, good to see you taking time out to comment ,and let me know what you like, and that you care. Much appreciated sir, stay cool! Peace!

Now, I am more than convinced that you are the most intelligent woman I have experienced. | ^D

Hello fglrx, how are you doing, what’s up . I was wondering who all these guest postings, I don’t know Smokey very well, but the little bit I did he seemed to be a very nice, caring, understand, contributing and reply and talk to the Hot For Words website. He seems to hold some of the same tastes interests. I sure wouldn’t want anything to happen to him. I pray that everything is ok with him. Keep me updated, because I have and fell concern for smokey also! I can only hope for the best, and there is nothing wrong with him or his account, or whatever the whole situation is! Thank you for your time and caring! Peace!

Haha! I like you wicked sense of humor! Really!

Maybe Marina even uses push-up/wonder bra

Yes, you’re right, she uses them almost in all her videos.

“They saw two men by the roadside sit,
And both bemoaned their lot;
For one had buried his wife, he said,
And the other one had not.”
– from “The Enchanted Shirt” by John Hay

Well, that’s as opposed to the budget funeral sermon:
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and in the hole he goes!” :mrgreen:

Grave Humour from Ireland :-D :lol:

(OK, I posted it before, but it just FITS here so perfectly!)

Is there picture of her holding a guitar in the calender?

Native Issues:
72% of First Americans speak only English at home.
Navajos have the highest percentage who still speak their own language, at 69%.
During WWII, Navajo code talkers relayed crucial military messages that the Japanese could not decipher, allegedly shortening the war in the Pacific by a year. :cool:
Evan Owen says, “Naika kumtux Chinook wawa!”

Sniglets
“Animalanche: When you kick your stuffed animals in your sleep and they
fall all over you or the floor.”

As-salaam alaikum, Mohammed Ali Abidi, and yes, many of us agree with you.

Word requests:
{algebra}
{orange}
{algorithm}
{chemistry}
{sugar}

…all from Arabic, yes?

Hi Matrix,

Yes, your remarks are easier to reply to when they are split into several short ones! Thanks!

Do you know why I think Marina is such a smart person ? It definitely is not because of her knowledge or research skills of the words.

She knew what she wanted when she was in Russia and set herself a goal. She wanted to go to America.

She had seen the potential of using Youtube before most other people had. That makes her one smart business woman in my book.

And learned all the skills needed to achieve her goals. Even though she has no formal training in those fields. Take for example iJustine, she studied Interactive Multimedia Design or something along those lines. That means she was taught how to design and create websites and do video editing.

But do you think iJustine build her own site ? Nope.

That is why I think Marina is really smart. :-)

My opinion is similar to yours.

She is also an example how to be incredibly persistent in striving to achieve the set goals.

That form of web skill doesn’t matter anymore.

Trusty in conversation with idiot…

Trusty:… Hi, I’m trusty, I have a website called HotorWords.
Idiot:Yes… I have one also…
I created it myself… facebook.com/asshole-idiot

My Dear Teacher, you can still be a stripper if you want it bad enough. You’ve shown how accomplished you are. You just need to practice more!

Hello Evan, how you doing dude? You replied, good show, much appreciated. That is very funny LOL! I love your replies, now as long as you can keep replying, or just talking to from out of the blue, any way you can would be great, I have always enjoyed your wit, and charm, just plain funny, and I mean that in the best way possible. See you soon. Peace!

I know it is not rocketscience, I just admire when people are self taught it takes a lot of effort.

Thank you I try to accommodate! Thank you for your replies , and your gracious answer, Thank you sir I.m glad to be of service, this is Neo out! Peace!

Grave Humour From Ireland, was cool and funny, “Help me out of here I’m cold, no wonder you kicked all your dirt off! LOL! I bet that guy will not do that again taking a short cut, at least if he lives, or gets out of this weird, but yet funny predicament, and has any brains to learn from this experience, not to do so in the future. Did this guy think has was back from the dead ? LOL, grave Homour, for a certain taste, and point of view, I say it be funny, just my a part of my mutli-faucet streams of humour, I dwell into many kings of humour, and this is one of them. Thank you for the post! Later!

That is “kind “of humour, thats the only mistake I can find glancing through, at least the spelling part and “humour”, at least trying to fix it up best I can.

Great selection , on the in justice to the Indian people as a whole! Navajos sure stayed true to their native tongue, more than any, as going by these statistics, I never new the Navajo use their language to help the US military against the Japanese during WW 2. Coll thanks for letting me know, see we could be having these excellent conversations all this time, I heard a lot from this, the Windtalkers if my memory serves me right! I also love Nicolas Cage movies I may have to check that out! thank you for the info. and the recommendation. Cool keep up with those great posts!

Ha Ha very funny, that was a good one! LOL!

Hello everyone how are you doing? What’s up with the class, my cutting up of my work has seemed to have work for a few views, that I’m trying to work with, and give them what they want. I try my hardest, for you faithful followers, complements, and the rest of the class, where you be, not into this type of stuff, or why you shy way, come one come all. I know that you please all the people all the time, but I try to appeal to those are caring, and sharing with a fellow classmate/friend, associate in this huge and ever growing classroom, and many changing face, coming and going, or not contributing in some sort of fashion! Too much Lack Of Communication, from most anymore, for those who due and have stayed true, I praise you, and thank, for such dedication, and caring you take time out to show, To the loyal, and the mass see you all soon, and just here for friendship, and Peace, and fellow members to share these and many things, I’m looking forward to those who are loyal, and post and comment, reply, even start up a conversation, I don’t mind , I encourage it. This is your friend Neo Ending transmission! Love and tranquililty. that the best I can spell that, I checked on a spell check, and it seems to match it letter for letter, my eyesight is not to good, but as the best I could it appeared to match up with the spelling of the word. Well so long!

I agree with you 200%
My point is other people just don’t realized that anymore.

If I try to impress a girl by telling her about my website… it doesn’t matter to her anymore…. she also has a website… facebook/her

Do you see what I mean?

There is a huge difference between what (semi) trusty did and what a facebook user does. But the (99.99% of) persons using facebook don’t know that.
They really think they made their own website.

In sEARched of the lost {CHORD}…In keeping up with current events…—>Stuck in the Middle with you- Steelers Wheel …)[](

Wow… thanks good buddy.
I really like that picture of (partially) trustable   :-)

And tell me about that bomb, young man!

I call…

code talkers and economics according to WAR???…the fear of misunderstanding and the preaching of division????…./…..Re: Free Sex in America! hotforwords is wrong! …Evan: you should write out an American language and fight wars with …. “Speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Traditionally said at weddings,by the … “Forever hold your piece” would just be like…. ya. …
unite and no fight//760

And tell me about that bomb, young man!

I call…

code talkers and economics according to WAR???…the fear of misunderstanding and the preaching of division????…./…..Re: Free Sex in America! hotforwords is wrong! …Evan: you should write out an American language and fight wars with …. “Speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Traditionally said at weddings,by the … “Forever hold your piece” would just be like…. ya. …
unite and no fight//760

(partially) trustable

what (semi) trusty did

Why “semi”? Did something bad happen?

I wondered what she needed her photos from the latest several-day-long photo session for. I thought it might have been for a new calendar, but it’s too late as the 2011 year has begun. Maybe she’s planning a new book? I don’t know.

There’s nothing bad in spelling it “humour”. Evan told the joke in the Irish way so he had to use also the “British” spelling to make it consistent.

It’s cool… (almost) Trusty is just like my friend Svetlana from IBM.
I spent every day working with Lana and we got together all the time and played classical guitar. I know the way a female Russian brain works.
Also… You have to remember… this is only a website anyway. And if I email someone from this website about programming or anything else… it might not even be the person in the videos responding.

One of my sayings is…

Don’t believe anything you hear, only half of what you actually see.

The internet isn’t even included in any type of belief for me. I’m just waiting time with it until I can get to France and stay drunk.

That’s one of my favorite sayings too. I don’t trust fully even myself. My brain often tends to produce weird ideas that I must be suspicious of.

How does a female Russian brain work? Is it different than in Western females? I know you couldn’t write about it because it’s not a verbal knowledge, but I asked this question because it’s interesting. I’m always interested in transcultural comparisons.

That’s one of my favorite sayings too. I don’t trust fully even myself. My brain often tends to produce weird ideas that I must be suspicious of.

How does a female Russian brain work? Is it different than in Western females? I know you couldn’t write about it because it’s not a verbal knowledge, but I asked this question because it’s interesting. I’m always interested in transcultural comparisons.

Where did you hear it… I thought I made that up?
(the “only half of what you see” part… the “don’t believe anything you hear” is common)

Where did you hear it… I thought I made that up?
(the “only half of what you see” part… the “don’t believe anything you hear” is common)

That’s an old saying, but the author is uncertain.http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_said_believe_half_of_what_you_see_and_none_of_what_you_hear

Benjamin Franklin, and he said. “Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.

I don’t know if it was really Benjamin Franklin.

I have list of about 10 quotes I made up… I guess that one gets scratched.

Here is another…
http://www.hotforwords.com/2010/06/02/filibuster/#comment-103547588

Only me…
http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&q=%22you+can+work+for+a+profit%22

I have list of about 10 quotes I made up… I guess that one gets scratched.

Here is another…
http://www.hotforwords.com/2010/06/02/filibuster/#comment-103547588

Only me…
http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&q=%22you+can+work+for+a+profit%22

Hello, Friends, lets skip the useless of me going through the same crap that none responds to anyhow.
<a href="http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/in-soviet-russia-bungee.htmIn Soviet Russia Bungee video
Drive By Headbang video
Insane Bike Tricks Video
Ninja Motor Cycle Crash video
Big Dog Species All Around The World
Swimming Cats

Are You Afraid Of Heights? Come To Preikestolen
Accidents Are Also An Art Form
Worlds Biggest Truck
Top 10 Largest Concerts In History
Famous People With Tattoos
Fantasy Scenes With Neon Light Art
This Man Puts Jackass To Shame
Animal Hair Hats
Girl With Two Heads

Marina, I’m glad that you weighed in on this topic, and relieved that you found humor in such venomous nonsense. When I read the blog post, I got highly pi$$ed. But you know I’m very protective of you. I used to work as a bodyguard for a while, and there was a shyness and vulnerability to your earlier work that really plucked that string on the guitar of my life. Those traits just mentioned also make obvious the fact that the blogger was fulla crapola. Stay awesome.
xoxodc

http://rt.com/online-exclusive/galleries/night-wolves-motorcycle-birthday/?“Night Wolves”Turn 21 Motorcycle Birthday Party
Bruce Lee Ping POng Expert
The 10 Hottest ESPN News Reporters
Big Truck Accidents
Flying Car?
33 Bizarre Accidents
Mystery In One Hotel Room
23 Largest Unheard Of Wonders
Can You Detect 16 Faces
Funny Five Second Video

http://rt.com/online-exclusive/galleries/night-wolves-motorcycle-birthday/?“Night Wolves”Turn 21 Motorcycle Birthday Party
Bruce Lee Ping POng Expert
The 10 Hottest ESPN News Reporters
Big Truck Accidents
Flying Car?
33 Bizarre Accidents
Mystery In One Hotel Room
23 Largest Unheard Of Wonders
Can You Detect 16 Faces
Funny Five Second Video

If you are getting your cat accustomed to water since he’s very young, he won’t be afraid of it at all. And yes, every cat can swim actually better than any dog when is forced to do it by external circumstances, e.g. when falls into water.

Not afraid of heights? Climb a TV tower without any safety gear

But the former was a child’s play comparing to the same in the real mountains

Is this bravery or stupidity?

Fortunately, the blogger responded positively to the rational arguments and other people also started commenting more positively:

Mark Biernat
What you write may or may not be true, but who cares. If she is using her talents to change her life or do something creative and changed her past than more power to her. I would only ask that you critique her teaching English or style of teaching languages skill as a review form, and not focus on speculation about her past as it does no one good and is not appropriate.
Sorry part of my comment policy is not to attack anyone. And I will have to delete the whole post and comments if it gets too much in this direction.
The more I read about her the more I am beginning to think positive of her. The more I think it is a lady who uses her brain in a creative way and over the years has proven that her morals are good, despite speculation about her.

Wayne
Point well-taken. Just before I came back here, I was re-thinking my stance on her. She does use her brain in a positive way, and the only thing she is trying to do is make a living by promoting her love for languages. Is there any way you could delete my posts? I was being childish.

Mark Biernat
Wayne, I get the same way. This is the Internet and I have been in flames of war with many, but at this point I am trying to be more positive and even rewrite some of my posts when I come across any negativity.

Abbey
In her latest video, she did a vlog about how she came to America. I think it’s an inspirational story. She said herself, she went from a poor girl living outside of Moscow to living in Hollywood, California. She was modest and left out the part about how she’s making a ton of money. I think she’s great. Even though I’m a girl, I watch her videos because she has a great, bubbly personality and gets people interested in learning. I had no interest in learning Russian before I started watching her videos, even though I’m married to a Russian man, so she’s doing something right.

Mark Biernat
Thank you for the comment Abbey. I have really more respect for her more I read about her. She is doing something right. I really like to hear about people who use their creative talents in the in a way that entertains and educates others.

Now it’s starting to sound much better.

Some Jokes

Talent

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, ” But you’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working, ” replies the duck.

“And you talk!” exclaims the bartender.

“I see your ears are working< " says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly, " says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

I'm working on the building site across the road, explains the ducks.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck.

:Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?

"At the circus" says the bartender.

The circus?" That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks: "What the heck do they want with plaster?"

Large Family

The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest baby.

“When we had just four children, I dressed them alike so we wouldn’t lose any of them.”

“Now, ” she added, looking around at her brood of nine, “I dress them alike so we won’t pick up any that don’t belong to us.”

The Doberman

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant. I escort the patient into the doctor’s office. But before taking this dog’s leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, “Is she friendly?”

“Friendly?” said the man. “She’s had five litters!”

Play on words

–HOW DO YOU CATCH a Unique Rabbit? Unique up on it.

–How DO YOU CATCH A TAME rabbit? Tame way, Unique Up On It.

–HOW DO CRAZY PEOPLE Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path

–WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN They Hit A Concrete Wall? Dam!

–WHAT DO Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice Too Long? Polaroid’s

–WHAT DO YOU Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work? A Stick

–WHAT DO YOU Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?Nacho Cheese.

–WHAT DO YOU Call Santa’s Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

–WHAT DO YOU Get From A Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.

–WHAT Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

–WHY Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

The Birth Order, Part 1

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing For The Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eight month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to awaken your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two or three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a setter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

GRANDCHILDREN: … God’s reward for allowing your children to live.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they Grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. –Kristen, age

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you have known the person FOREVER by then. –Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You Got to be a fool to get married. –Freddie, age 6

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. –Derrick age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want anymore kids. –Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. –Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. –Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. –Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When you’re rich. –Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. –Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. –Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out, –Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. –Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure wouldn’t be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? –Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is…….”HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. –Ricky, age 10

Cleaning

I don’t see what the fuss is about house cleaning. Seems easy enough to me.

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it “Housework.”

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?”

6. Answer calmly, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly……..

7. Feel better?

Connecting Flights

The fur began to fly when my fellow airplane passengers learned there was a chance they might miss their connecting flights out of Aspen.

When we finally landed, I found out just how nasty things got. Over the intercom, a harried flight attendant announced, “Those of you continuing on to L.A. please wait outside next to the boarding ramp and we will have a shuttle run you over.”

Analogies and Metaphors

These came from the annual “Dark and Stormy Night’ competition. Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer with Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like a sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like , whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch-tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a supercharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on a 7:00p.m. instead of 7:30.

Continued on the following post……

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15 They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Marry had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like a heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping in a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire Hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kinds around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Sunday School Lesson

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?

Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in Heaven.”

Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”

The whole class got very quite, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked little Johnny said, ” Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘ Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’!”

Personality Test

A psychology student was to help a professor in a conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.

“How does this glass of water look to you?”

Person 1: It is half empty.

Student writes ‘pessimist’ in his report.

Person 2: enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?”

Person 2: It is half full.

Student writes ‘optimist’ in his report.

Person 3 enters the room. :How does this glass of water look to you?”

Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there.

The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor.

“Oh them!” , the professor says, “I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality.”

Genie Joke

One day a man found an odd- looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

“What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie.

I want one billion dollars,” replies the man.

“Remember,” says the genie, ” says the genie, “your mother-in-law gets double of what you get.”

I know,” replied the man.

The man then chooses his second wish, “I wish I had a brand new sports car.” So he gets his second wish and he’s very content.

“Your mother-in-law gets double what you get, now what would you like for your third wish?” Asks the genie.

The man ponders for a moment, then answers, “I wish to be beaten half to death.”

Hello this is Neo, Matrix75, I just noticed that in the processes, and some how got logged into my disque or what ever it’s called, so my name for that is NeoTheChosenOne, how this log in switch happened is way beyond me, I didn’t do anything that I’m aware of, or can remember to cause this to happen, I see you at least like my posts Thank you! Peace

Yeah lol, exactly, but but i finally add another one, to let the audience listen, u know….

I was looking for a place to put my squiggly line . . . no, wait, I really just wanted to request a word {hack} as in a pathetic excuse for a writer, not the geek who wanted to play Global-Thermal Nuclear War – - – fun.

Agreed, you made good, rational points and it was heartening to notice that many of the others ‘revised their opinions’ of Marina. But the point that really irritated me then, and does still, is that, in my opinion, Biernat, et al made these comments as if they were absolutes as opposed to opinions. One is always entitled to an opinion, but it should be presented as such. The fact that several wrote that they had ‘revised their opinions’ of Marina tells me that no one there did sufficient research before making their posts. Perhaps I should take for granted that they are opinions, but the whole thing looked to me like a Warner Brothers cartoon “Dogpile on ‘da rabbit” mob skit. Personally, I NEVER argue unless thorough research proves me correct beforehand. It makes your Batting Average look better.
The burden of proof failure lies in Biernat’s lap, but one of many elements in our current societal decline is the notion that there ARE no absolutes, but that that statement in and of itself IS an absolute. One’s perception is indeed one’s reality, but it is not necessarily absolute truth. Yet our young are being taught that perception IS truth, according to a former middle school teacher friend of mine who quit the job due to ethical opinion differences. Absolute truth indeed exists, but one must work to find it. The “if it feels good, do it” and “if you believe it, it’s a fact” crap is a holdover from the generation of shame in America’s 1960′s. Do psychedelics, read Hoffman, Alinsky and others of their ilk, and sit back and wait for the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Well, I was there, children. I was very young, but I was there, and very inquisitive. It was, in my opinion, bullshit then, and it is bullshit now. But many of those ‘enlightened’ types are large and in charge now. I’m too stupid and experienced to know much of fear, but that’s kinda scary to me.
I’ll shut up now. Remember, merely my opinion.
dc

A woman went into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one!

hey, folks
i wonder if i should came back on this forum or not.
it would improve my english leastwise, like watching 18 hours on the trot adrian monk.

I think you should come back.

ok, i’m back.
(this (last) year i enjoyed silvester more than christmas)

I will inform you when i have something useful to say.

That’s nice that you enjoyed New Year’s Eve and that your depressive moods passed.

This might help…Working with hoes …just a hello and {nitty-gritty}…”she hacked on my latest report!”

This might help…Working with hoes …just a hello and {nitty-gritty}…”she hacked on my latest report!”

The old movie comeidan WC Fields used to use the expression GOTFRIED DANIEL instead of GODDAMN to get it past the censor.

The old movie comeidan WC Fields used to use the expression GOTFRIED DANIEL instead of GODDAMN to get it past the censor.

Sorry you took that wrong.
I know trusty is great with computer stuff.
The joke was… other people that hardly know anything think they do know stuff because of facebook.

“I see,” said the blind man, who picked up the hammer and saw.

Aaron Drews: maybe Marina will do the word {saw} and the sea forms around the marina…great pun!…

A saw is a tool that uses a hard blade or wire with an abrasive edge to cut through softer materials. The cutting edge of a saw is either a serrated blade or an abrasive. A saw may be worked by hand, or powered by steam, water, electricity or other power.

…hEars won…Understand ? / comb+hen…???

One of my favorites: Did you know Abraham Lincoln was Jewish? That’s right, he was shot in the temple.

Hi marina.Im a french man, from FRANCE I MEAN Hum um, um.forget about it..d:n)..
High wanna say somethin’ like…somethin’,and after reflexion…maybe i wanna say somethin’. (LOL!)tapoutapitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
few seconds, ok, i think i don’t know how it happens but, i think, i fell in love with you(it’s your buisness i mean, you on yuo tube (COME ON lol d:nD )))
and……………………………………………………………..;
…
..
.
yeah.
nicolas ‘D’
Instruction*

I love HM(!) i know you by heart, i KNOW? *ND

I love moustache ahahah)(i don’t know you.. DBLE SENS? :-) *

I love moustache ahahah[]my computer is so slow that i don’t even remember what i wanted to say ( yeah sometimes he’s t evenlightpowered on!!
yeah i know im hilarious lol
YEAH NOW I CAN SAY IT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA .. I LUVE IOU!! (for real that’s my actual problem to deal wit’. but they’reZ way worst!
ahah
have a good day, i’ll try to stop ahah(fuckin’ world… ***

yeah just one, i just adore y le and slas both! d:n) (-:

F* french hackerz are the worst by WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY far!!!!!!!
i just adore my life and slash, both, was what i ment!

Marina, as your video shows, you are not semelfactive — I wouldn’t want to do you only once :-9

What I clicked the link that showed you having sex with a taco. I get a LESSON I don’t want to learn stuff I wanna see you, with a taco cause I wonder hard, or soft shell or did it start soft, and how did you make it hard shelled?

I’d say that the obvious “double entendre” here is the title of Marina’s page… Hot for Words.

Hello Smokey What’s up, I didn’t avoid eating to much, I always over stuff myself, for me this is a very rare treat, and thus a special meal to me, How about all that cold and snow, I getting tired of it! I;m from the USA and in a small state of pennsylvania , how about you, where you b from? Smokey, or for some reason, showing as guest now.I.m a very did metal fan, and have enjoyed all of metallica’s albums, songs for the most part. I never noticed your reply up until now, how did I miss this. Sorry about that brother. Thanks for the reply, and the coll conversation, Peace and Love to you, this is Neo, Ending Transmission! Oh thank you for the song!

Hello Smokey What’s up, I didn’t avoid eating to much, I always over stuff myself, for me this is a very rare treat, and thus a special meal to me, How about all that cold and snow, I getting tired of it! I;m from the USA and in a small state of pennsylvania , how about you, where you b from? Smokey, or for some reason, showing as guest now.I.m a very did metal fan, and have enjoyed all of metallica’s albums, songs for the most part. I never noticed your reply up until now, how did I miss this. Sorry about that brother. Thanks for the reply, and the coll conversation, Peace and Love to you, this is Neo, Ending Transmission! Oh thank you for the song

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all. Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone! This is the year of Money! This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays. This happens only every 823 years. These particular years are known as ‘Moneybags’… t he proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends (already today translated from the Brazilian version!) money will appear in the next four days as explained in Chinese feng-shui. Those who don’t continue the chain won’t receive. It’s a mystery, but worth a try. You gotta admit the 111 thing is pretty cool. Good luck.

I notice “hotforteacher”, and I don’t think she is holding it…

http://features.peta.org/sexy-veg-2011/Round1.aspx http://cognac.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/b38.jpg

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all. Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone! This is the year of Money! This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays. This happens only every 823 years. These particular years are known as ‘Moneybags’… t he proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends (already today translated from the Brazilian version!) money will appear in the next four days as explained in Chinese feng-shui. Those who don’t continue the chain won’t receive. It’s a mystery, but worth a try. You gotta admit the 111 thing is pretty cool. Good luck.

I notice “hotforteacher”, and I don’t think she is holding it…

http://features.peta.org/sexy-veg-2011/Round1.aspx http://cognac.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/b38.jpg

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all. Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone! This is the year of Money! This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays. This happens only every 823 years. These particular years are known as ‘Moneybags’… t he proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends (already today translated from the Brazilian version!) money will appear in the next four days as explained in Chinese feng-shui. Those who don’t continue the chain won’t receive. It’s a mystery, but worth a try. You gotta admit the 111 thing is pretty cool. Good luck.

I notice “hotforteacher”, and I don’t think she is holding it…

http://features.peta.org/sexy-veg-2011/Round1.aspx http://cognac.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/b38.jpg

Yes, this is fantastic…
James Blunt is 222
James Sharp is 111
All the 2′s have a blunt top
the ones are nice and sharp.

Yes, this is fantastic…
James Blunt is 222
James Sharp is 111
All the 2′s have a blunt top
the ones are nice and sharp.

Yes, this is fantastic…
James Blunt is 222
James Sharp is 111
All the 2′s have a blunt top
the ones are nice and sharp.

…Space is MENTAL…

Paying the slaves(working) is something to think about…you might laugh now but the state of an economy is clAss!

Never let the well dry! Your love of hot for words reads like the prettiest* {ICON…to master the lock is having nothing ..

“Something for sure is really wrong nothing working for me at all now! Oh well, see you all soon I hope! Peace! “…sourced: GabrielSaviour!

…just hello-ing……………….. http://i.imgur.com/SkR4r.jpg Soon, we all will be seeing? …scope and hope/hemp rope on dope????ps—the father of Miss Lead :-)

…Space is MENTAL…

Paying the slaves(working) is something to think about…you might laugh now but the state of an economy is clAss!

Never let the well dry! Your love of hot for words reads like the prettiest* {ICON…to master the lock is having nothing ..

“Something for sure is really wrong nothing working for me at all now! Oh well, see you all soon I hope! Peace! “…sourced: GabrielSaviour!…just a hello-ing……………….. http://i.imgur.com/SkR4r.jpg Soon, we all will be seeing? …scope and hope/hemp rope on dope????ps—the father of Miss Lead :-) sorry but… …magic? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhVRL9q8bis

GabrielSaviour?

James sorry about delays.. Major glitch on my channel on YouTube for the past month.. Trying to fix it. Been really aggravating and stressful!